Start of Something New

Well, just a short update this go-round, before I crash out for the night.

You know, it's not often that we get to start something new in our lives. Well, except during our college years. Then it seems to happen all the time, for some of us. New classes, new friends, new roommates, new travel plans, new jobs, new living places (at college AND at home - I sleep in the living room now!), and much more. This year has so far been no exception. After new classes at the beginning of the year, along with a new apartment, new roommates, and new friends, now I am back home sleeping in a new "bedroom," with a new job.

My new job is working for EcoFirst Pest Control here in California. It's an . . . interesting job. Interesting hardly starts to describe it. I've been learning quickly what I'm supposed to do, but there's a lot to learn, and not much time before you get thrown out in the field. And it's a very draining job. It's six days a week, starting at 7:30, after a 45 minute commute. So I'm up at 5 every morning getting ready to roll out, and it leaves me plenty exhausted. I get home usually sometime between 6:30-7:30, and it may end up being later as the summer goes. Bed by 9-10, repeat. Not much of a home life in that time. But, as I kick along, I'm planning to run into some more new stuff - new songs on the piano, new stories to read, and maybe even new stories written. Possibly even a new Jason, so to speak. We'll see what this summer has to bring, it should be full of surprises.

With all this new stuff going on, I think it's important to remember that there are a few things that don't start new. Faith can start new, but Christ is not new. He is old, and what He offers is new, of the best kind - He offers us a brand new start. Today is Easter, which was both and end and a new start for Him, and He in turn now offers that new start to us. What greater gift could any of us hope to receive? It's absolutely incredible. Christ is the reason anything exists, lives, and has hope. I certainly hope that we can all take a little time this year to be mindful of all the new starts we receive, and the opportunity we have for a grand "new start" with our lives every time we think of Christ and His amazing gift. Happy Easter, and a happy new start.

The Futility of Giving Up

Ever had that urge to just give up? Felt like that no matter what you did, you would never be able to succeed? That you were just too weak, the whole world seemed against you, and that even those who stood by you could do nothing? That maybe even that God had abandoned you? Welcome to the club.

I think that everyone has experienced something like this at one point in their life, whether they will admit it or not. And honestly, that's okay. Sometimes it just seems that way. But it doesn't mean it's true. And it definitely doesn't mean it's okay to give up. Giving up is never okay - that's quitting, and the only way to lose at this game called life is to quit. Quitting is never an option.

Why is quitting not an option? Because if you quit, you really don't get a second chance. You get one shot at this life, and after that, it's all done. So the best you can do is keep plodding on. We're not here to be perfect in life. We're here to do our best and learn on the way. What is the point of life if we don't learn? Not much, to be honest. So we learn, we grow, we pick ourselves back up, and we try again.

Because giving up is futile.

Baklava

Growing up, I could always recall my favorite days were when my dad would pull out a box of phillo dough from the fridge, grab a large baking sheet, and start layering out the dough. I knew it would be another day until it was finished, but that was a day the entire family looked forward to - the day the baklava was finished.

Baklava has been something of a tradition at my home for many years. My father has always been the principle maker of it, often sending small boxes of it out to relatives who lived far away. I'll admit to being a little selfish and not wanting him to send so much, but there was always more than enough to go around.

Fresh-made baklava, done right, is without a doubt one of the most amazing treats ever invented. Of course, I may also be partial to it because my dad makes such a great batch of it. I've tried some others that I didn't care for quite as much, but even so, it still stands miles above other desserts. Yes, even above brownies and chocolate chip cookies (gasp! - anyone who knows me knows I LOVE those, so for me to claim this is better is HUGE).

I recently completely what I believe to be my best batch of baklava yet. After burning the syrup for it twice and forgetting to cut it into diamonds until 15 minutes into baking, it turned out remarkably well - amazing, if I dare to say so. Part of me really wonders if it truly is the difference of using pecans instead of walnuts. I know there is a huge flavor difference, but that much? Either way, I think that I've sworn off using walnuts in my baklava forever. Sadly, it will make it an even rarer dessert, but I think I can continue to afford my semester tradition of baklava for some time to come.

I won't claim to be nearly as good as my dad at this - after all, he does have almost 30 years on me for experience. But you know what, I'm hoping that as I keep going, I can someday hopefully match him. I know you never get quite as good as the old man, but it can't hurt to try.

So, to round this out, I want to give a shout out to my dad, an amazing man who has passed on a wonderful tradition, filled not only with yummy sweetness, but with love.

Forgotten

I wish I could show you a picture of my inspiration. An old, tired, used up tube of chapstick, lying on the ground in a crack on the sidewalk. The label faded and worn, scraped and ripped from being kicked around the sidewalk. Something once used and needed by someone, serving a purpose. Now lost, discarded, and forgotten, stepped on and over by strangers passing heedlessly. Alone in a world that no longer needs it.

Far too often we view others as that expired tube of chapstick - worn out, old, and finished. We discard them without a second thought, their usefulness forgotten in a heartbeat as we go to find someone or something new in life, something more exciting. Too often we simply forget those who have helped us along the way, those who were so important to us at one point, now become simply waste.

We too easily forget just how much people mean to us. We cast them away without that second thought, and there may be no one left for them in the world at that point. We use and lose. Can there be a more insensitive thing, to leave someone, forgotten to the world? I don't think there is, but it happens all the time. I've done it myself. I've been forgotten myself. I think at some time or another, we have all been on both sides of this coin. The question is, when do we break the cycle? When do we stop to pick up that chapstick that we discarded, or another discarded? When do we stop to lose those we once held close and dear, no matter how tired or beat or worn? So I take a moment to encourage you to stop, think, look around. Who is in your life who means a lot to you, who has helped you through the hard times? Who maybe did you once know that you no longer talk to, who has fallen by the wayside in your journey of life? Take a moment, reach out, say hello. Remind someone that they're important to you, that they make a difference in your life. Don't let them become that forgotten chapstick. Don't let them be forgotten.

Feelings, Opinions, and Thoughts

We all have them. We're made of them. They're in each one of us, every day, all day. They shape who we are. They change how we interact with those around us. They fuel our decisions, and affect our view of the world.

They are our feelings. They are our opinions. They are our thoughts. They are us.

I've been doing a lot of thinking and reflecting lately on life and how it plays out before us. It never really ever seems to go just how we want it to go. That twist of life affects how we think, how we feel, and how we view things. Think about the movie Inception. One small thought, that life wasn't real, but a dream, changed the whole world. That change played a huge part in changing how another life was seen and lived. That in turn affected many other lives, changing how they thought and felt and believed. Those lives changed others. The effects spread. How we view life, how we feel, how we act based on our feelings and our thoughts and our opinions changes so much of the world around us, even if we don't recognize it right away. The changes are sometimes very subtle, barely impacting the world around us. Sometimes they are large and dramatic, having a broad, sweeping effect that is impossible to notice. They are there.

Perhaps the scariest of all of this is the effect that our thoughts and feelings and opinions have on ourselves. We rarely ever think to stop and look back at ourselves and see what we are doing to ourselves with how we think an feel and believe. What are we turning ourselves into? What are we creating out of the clay that is us? How will we be shaped when we are finished with this process? When will we be finished? Are we ever fully shaped?

Too often we give ourselves the excuse that we are too influenced by others, that they change how we are feeling or thinking or believing. We don't to recognize that we are the masters of ourselves. We choose how we will be. We find escapes, places to put the blame. We decide that we feel in a bad mood because our neighbor said something silly that we decided to take offensively, even though we knew that no offense was intended. Our thoughts are turned to other things because of something we saw while driving to the store. Our opinions are swayed because the TV tells us what is going on and how we should feel about life.

Scared yet? If not, then I can only guess that you have one of two views: either you are already confident in your control over your thoughts and feelings and emotions and are reading this with a small smile, or perhaps more likely, you are looking for something to pass the thoughts in your head off to. Something in you is looking at this and recognizing perhaps something of a truth, but doesn't want to accept it, so you find a way to pass it off to something or someone else. Maybe it's my fault for putting a thought in your head. But will you decide to take responsibility for what it blooms into? Will any of us take that responsibility?

Moods

I've found that I have strange moods. And that I can switch in and out of moods really fast, on the simplest things. I've also found, recently, that I do have some slight control over those moods. It's been an interesting discovery, and honestly, it's only just starting. There's still so much more for me to learn about myself and my moods.

One minute, I can be in a complete happy-go-lucky mood, and the next I'll be in a quiet, sedate mood. I might even switch into a down mood, or rocket to a crazy mood. I'm finding I can be rather unpredictable.

What is it that makes up our moods and what they are? What is it that determines how we will be feeling from one moment to the next? How do the things around us affect us? How long do moods last, and why?

Those are questions that I think many of us wonder about and are attempting to answer as the days and years go by us. We stop and we wonder, and then something distracts us and we continue on our way, our mood constantly shifting from one to another. Some people are able to maintain incredible control over their moods while others susceptible to sudden mood swings or changes that can't be controlled except with a lot of effort. It's a part of life for everyone.

One thing I have learned, is that we indeed can control, often to an extent, our moods. It's often dependent upon what we are thinking about, and how we are thinking about it. If we focus a certain way on some things, then our mood will plummet. If we focus on others, our mood can soar.

So much more to think about, so much more to say. It honestly really is incredible. Take some time to think about it!

The First of Some

A new year, a new start, a new this, a new that. Hey, it happens, what're ya gonna do?

So yup, it's 2011. Another year ended, another year started. Is it just me, or do they go faster? I still remember 2004 as being a really long, good year, though I'm not sure why. It just was. So far, nothing has quite been as long and it just speeds up. Anyway.

I haven't posted on here in a good while. Not much to say, really. Life continues to move along. You can see most of my updates about life on my Facebook page (which, for anyone who reads this, that's probably where you found this anyway, so it's a redundant invitation).

Lots has been flickering around in my mind lately. So many things to figure out, so much left to do. It's really funny, actually. The reactions I get from people when they ask how much longer I have left in college and I tell them another 2.5 years. It's going to be a long time. Yes, I've already been there 3 years. I'll be there around 5.5-6 years, total. I'm going to be a super senior. Never thought it would happen. Then again, I never expected a lot of things in life to happen and they continue to happen. It's especially interesting, what with most everyone I know from college before my mission being graduated already. I believe there are only four of us left now. Myself, Brandon, Melinda, and Torry. Brandon will graduate probably a year before I do. Melinda, I'm not sure, I can't seem to keep it straight in my head. Torry, no idea. Yet how much longer till it's just me? Seems to end that way a fair bit sometimes. Life moves on, leaves you alone, and lets you meet new people, go new places. Kinda a depressing thought, really, when you're not the type who enjoys constant change. Gets old after a while. Change now and again is nice, but not so constantly. Especially when people leave your life. That is hard. It's hard to watch people walk out of your life forever. Makes you wonder what it's like for them when you walk out of theirs.

Yeah, that's a bit of a rant. It happens. I warned you, this is my alternate reality here, anything goes. Just so you know. And honestly, it may not be the last time. Hence, the First of Some. But I never said what. It's an open ended title, allowing for anything to fill the gap there. Isn't it great?

Hope you enjoy. Happy New Years!